Chapter 39

A strange thing—this forced rest. I don’t feel discomfort from being stalled in my progress in the game. Now I can focus on solving issues related to my real future. And the experience of using eleven streams of consciousness has yielded results in real life. I could solve problems faster, my mind became sharper. If I were to visualize my former consciousness, I’d compare myself to an ordinary fish—but now, I’m more like an octopus or a squid: as if my mind has many arms, and the picture of the world assembles itself from countless small fragments.

What can I accomplish in two months? I could study the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child. The maximum punishment Vaalsi can impose doesn’t exceed 30 days—but I’ve kept that as a backup in case I urgently need to reconnect to the game. There’s no point in angering him and making him an enemy. I need to change the rules of the game. Both Vaalsi and the psychologist are in my way. They can influence me because, legally, I’m still a child. I either need to find adoptive parents or switch to an orphanage where I can dictate the terms myself.

The solution was quite original. On one of Jupiter’s moons, there was a sanatorium-style colony—the city-state of Arpa. According to local laws, I could be recognized as a full citizen at the age of twelve if I had lived there for over three years and had enough money in my account to support myself comfortably until adulthood. Ninety thousand credits—a large sum, but not impossible. I could save it up if I withdraw in-game currency into real money over a couple of years. And if I manage to auction off items from Hell, I could do it much faster.

The citizenship issue could be resolved by transferring to a local orphanage. So far, I haven’t seen any way to make that happen. Of course, I could fake a mental disorder and request to be sent there… Now that’s an idea! Though I’d have to frame it differently, and expenses would skyrocket.

I didn’t consider adoptive parents—the Galboa incident was enough for me. If Eliza told the other kids I could speak, then Galboa lost his job too. I don’t want to endanger those I care about. I’m a child, but how unpleasant it is… to crave strength, to become strong, and yet constantly be on the defensive, rejecting affection, avoiding closeness with others. I rejected weakness, I rejected my own emotions. That’s how I learned to stay silent, how I gained reason and self-awareness.

Blood trickled from my nose. Time to rest.